FOMO

It has long been established that I have a severe case of FOMO - fear of missing out -. I do mot like not knowing things. I have to be in the know. So when I heard that there was a book series driving women across the world crazy that was going to be turned into a movie I. HAD. TO. READ. IT.

It took me a week to breeze through the books. Once I was done I called my good friend Google to see what the world thought cos I had mixed emotions.

As an English degree graduate I recognize this has got to be some of the worst piece of writing EVER and my degree probably shriveled up in a corner crying each time I turned a page but honestly I was not expecting much, it's Twilight inspired fan fiction its never gonna be Shakespeare. The writing is basic and repetitive REALLY repetitive, Ana's inner monologue is annoying. Her inner goddess - who actually says that?!?!?! - her subconscious, really did not need an invite to this party thank you very much!!! 

The erotic fiction bit was also a bit meh! I am very open minded when it comes to sex and I have read and seen better. The first book I was like ok, but by the middle of the second book I started skipping over the sex scenes cos once again E.L got repetitive - he looks at her with his smoldering gray eyes, her belly clinches, she can't touch him, he reminds her he owns her,she promises to never leave, the end. Give me more E.L, make me feel ashamed and dirty for reading this on public transport!!!

Let's not even delve into the way these characters are written. Edward and Bella they are not!!! And a large part of me knows Christian Grey is a man with MAJOR issues and if I was to meet a man like that in real life I should RUN for the hills but the man is rich, wants to take care of Ana and show her the world. But he is also a stalker, control freak who like to hurt little brown haired girls cos they look like his birth mom and does not like to share his emotions...RUN!!! And Ana, stop trying to constantly appease this man and make excuses for his crazy...RUN!!!

But on the other hand I cannot lie, I enjoyed the fluff and have dreamt of a world where Christian Grey -minus the issues- comes into my life and we are married within 3 months and live happily ever after with our beautiful babies and ever present security team. My brain cells probably died a thousand deaths reading this but I would do it again and I will also be spending quality time doing this:

Google gave me the good, the bad and the obsessed and I can see where each person comes from. You can't take this seriously and kudos to her for making her millions but please E.L do us all a favour and don't write another book, Please.  If you take your reading seriously then its not for you. But I like a bit of fluff and I had several real laugh out loud moments and several can you just shut the eff up moments.

images: some e-cards & google images