Happier alone?!

I always said I'd be happier alone. I'd have my work, my friends - but someone in your life all the time? More trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I got over it. There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever. - Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

This is probably my favorite Grey's Anatomy quote Ever.

I remember the first time I heard it, I actually recorded it onto my phone and listened to it over and over again. It nicely summed up all my fears when it comes to matter of the heart! What if you do lean on it and it falls apart...how do you carry on. That is my biggest fear when it comes to love. How do you become whole again? How do you take that leap pf faith with someone without knowing how it will all end. I want a crystal ball that will reassure me that I really will be ok. That my heart will still be whole. But sadly that's not life and you have to way out the risks and decide whether or not to open yourself and be that vulnerable with someone else.

Honestly I don't know if I ever can. I sometimes do think I'd be happier alone.