sometimes things just suck

I hate that I am at an age where loosing our parents is very real. of course you could loose your parents at any age but now it just seems more and more of my friends are loosing their parents to old age related diseases and it sucks.

right now two of my closest friends are going through that fear of my parent is about to die. it is the most gut wrenching painful thing to watch. i feel soo helpless as both are so far away and sending an e-mail or text just does not seem enough.

i am the sort of person who will drop everything at the drop of a hat to be there for you and not being able to for these these two in my life pains me.

i also feel guilty that they are going through this that they may possibly loose a parent any day and i am going on about my business, planning how i am going to escape work to catch a half price movie tonight.

it just seems wrong and unfair. yes death is inevitable but you can never be really prepared for something like that. i can still hear my friends voice saying " i don't want him to die" and me trying to be the positive voice and saying he won't. but we both know i don't control the universe. none of us do. and it sucks.